Don’t Take Relationship Advice From Video Games

Here are four examples of disaster from my own experience in 2020

ell, 2020 was a tough year. I am not talking about COVID-19 or fires or anything like that. I am talking about my relationship with gaming characters. This is not a new thread for me and I am sure you guys know what I am talking about.

You know, it’s quite normal to learn some tips about your relationship online. It can even help you solve problems with your partner if you use the right sources. But as I learned the hard way, 2020’s video games clearly aren’t good examples.

This post does not contain any spoilers about games stories and characters.

Advice One: Put Yourself in Danger Without Thinking Your Partner

When only one person makes a suggestion, you may not take it seriously. But when all the characters say or do pretty much the same thing in The Last of Us Part II, it’s inevitable for you to apply this suggestion to your relationship.

The characters put themselves in danger at every point in the 25 hours of gameplay and continue their lives like nothing happened. So I did the most dangerous thing I could do to implement this suggestion and watched the final season of Game of Thrones alone, without telling my girlfriend. It didn’t go well.

How bad is the advice? 6/10.

Advice Two: Don’t Trust Your Partner in Any Way

I have a lot of fun playing Among Us. It reveals the actor, the liar and the performance artist in me. But in the midst of all this fun, there is only one piece of advice it gives: don’t trust anyone.

When I followed this advice for my friends, I didn’t have much trouble. So I took it one step further and applied it on my girlfriend for 15 consecutive games. I blamed her with no reason from the first round, directed others to her and always used my vote for kicking her in every game.

Considering that I was sleeping on the sofa at the end of the night, I guess there is no need to talk too much about the this terrible advice.

How bad is the advice? 9/10.

Advice Three: Be Cocky About Your Hard Working

Listen to me, I am not too guilty in this one.

We started playing Animal Crossing with my girlfriend at the same time and the first days were very enjoyable. We were joking about other characters, sending each other gifts and most importantly, helping with minor problems. Then grinding took over and that’s when I came across the advice: be a cocky about your island.

I did not sleep, didn’t eat, didn’t go to work and made my island the most beautiful island in the world. And when my girlfriend visited the my island for the first time, how can I say, the show started.

How bad is the advice? 7/10.

Advice Four: Go for Certain Victory Even If It Means Defeating Her

Whoever thinks video games are just for fun is wrong. Fall Guys reminded me that I am playing video games for winning. Not losing like my girlfrie — let me explain.

Fall Guys is awesome. It has an incredible entertainment potential, a feeling of having great moments, moments of chance, maps that require talent, in short, everything. But also it has a rule: just one person can win.

So I took this rule as an advice and applied it to our lives for a week. I beat her at Fall Guys, Mortal Kombat, and Need for Speed. I also won while playing darts against her, at swimming competition and competing to see who can eat more pizza. Her life energy had vanished at end of the week.

How bad is the advice? 8/10.

Okay, I can laugh about all this now. But seriously, don’t take your relationship advice from video games…

Photo by Kalegin Michail on Unsplash.

I tell stories about video games on Medium. You can find me talking other things on the Twitter. If you like this article, please follow me and say hi in the comments.

Cover image by Daniel Mackey on Dribbble.

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